Bedtime and a book review: Rabbit Ears by Amber Stewart and Illustrated by Laura Rankin

Bedtime.  Thank goodness, right?

Tate reads Levi and Rowan their bedtime story.

Well sometimes our bath and bedtime routine is all fun and giggles and sometimes it's more like this....

I bet you've had nights like that too.  But no matter what, by the time we are all settled down to read our favorite books everyone is the happiest they've been all day.  Once we are cuddled in with piles of pillows, our favorite books, a few sweet yawns and rounds of "I love you's" we all know that the world is good.

Our absolute favorite book right now is Rabbit Ears by Amber Stewart and Illustrated by Laura Rankin.  Not only are the illustrations just beautiful, they are also full of life, expression and the most important part... silliness.

The book is about a little rabbit named Hopscotch who does not like having his ears washed in the bath.  No matter what, not even if his mommy bribes him with his very favorite chocolate cake.

The book is full of things to giggle about and every part is relatable to my little boys not liking to have their hair washed.  In the end Hopscotch learns from his bigger cousin that washing your ears is not all that bad and Hopscotch eventually does it on his own.

The story is a reminder to me that these little frustrations are temporary as well as a slight suggestion to my boys of how they can do things on their own, just like their bigger cousins.  All in all, I don't think you can pinpoint what makes a book THE magic bedtime book, but whatever it is this book has it.

Best wishes and a snuggly goodnight- Nikki 

Ninja Love

We crazy love Ninja's over here.  Big fuzzy heart Valentine love Ninjas.
My two boys dress like Ninja's everyday.  Luckily all they need is matching pants and shirt and then they are transformed in to whatever color they are wearing Ninja.  I've had to find a few extra black shirts and black pants because most often they want to be black Ninja's.

I have to say, I love it a lot.

We have Ninja training often.  It's the most requested game from my boys and my nephews.  I'll try to explain how we play.

I am the Sensei and the boys are all in Ninja training.  We start by sitting on the floor in a circle with our legs crossed in a yoga pose to focus.  We do this little mini meditation in between each training excise to regroup and get the boys to calm a bit between each activity.

Then we have 4 main training sessions.

First, we practice punches.  I don't really know what I'm doing, they just follow me punching the air.  We practice left punches, right punches, combo punches, spinning punches.  Whatever little combo I come up with we practice for a few minutes and then they each take turns showing off how they can do it on their own.   I tell them they have graduated to the next level and we meditate before moving on to the next practice.

Secondly, we practice kicks.  Similar to the punching but with kicking.  They are real Ninja's and they take this practice very seriously.  Meditating for our transition.

Thirdly, we practice flips.  ***I am not recommending your kids do this***  My boys flip off of the couch and then add punch and kick combos.  A nice safe floor roll is what I suggest, and then jump up and kick punch kick!

The final practice is STEALTH!  They will do this for hours once we start.  I point out someone that they need to sneak by without being seen, usually it is Aunt Christie in the kitchen or a random family member sitting at a table or on the couch.  They crouch or belly crawl past the unsuspecting target.  They are usually full of giggles and I have them do this a few times until they can sneak past quietly and "unsuspected."  Silly boys.  They really can't get enough of stealth.

Once Ninja training is finished, they always devise Ninja missions and go off to save the world.  Boys really are fun.  <3

My sons favorite color is Pink and he wanted a pink Ninja a made a lot of them last year, but this year  I've just added one to the shop.  We had quite a rough winter.  It was one sickness after another.  I hope you guys all got through it well!

I don't have any Ninja Training photo's, since I'm usually busy being a Sensei.  I'll try to get one next time.  This is my little Ninja crashed!

I made a huge pile of mini Ninja's to go with my sons Pre-K valentines last year, this year the request is for them to all be pink and white!

This Pink Ninja is my sons favorite.  I've just added one more to my etsy shop! 

Here is a peek at what the valentines look like.    

This one is our favorite. 

I wish you all have a fun Ninja Valentine's day this year!

peace and love, Nikki

First Day of school!

My boys are getting big!  If you remember this day last year the little guy was crying about not being able to go to school with his over the top excited big brother.  It is finally his turn for school!

As I hyped the boys up about school at breakfast with 'homework' my little man had me in tears with his response to "when I grow up."
 Although he wanted me to change it to Ninja Turtle after hearing big brothers answer.

Yet, they did show off their Ninja moves.... 

      

and they were legitimately excited about starting school and gave me their best cheesey faces for proof.

The little guy is the youngest in his class, but I have a feeling he's also going to be the biggest ham.  He has his big cousin in his class to look after him as well.  

We really LOVE his school and as parents we are excited that they will be in a class with friends they already know and love.  The first day we visited this new school I left with a big hug from the director and in tears after hearing how perfectly inline their philosophies are with that of our family.  

I want my children to be taught inclusion and acceptance.  Those are the most important social skills I feel that children need to learn at this age.  I get my parenting advice from all over the place, mostly we stick with positive parenting but I like to get advice from anyone who's willing.  I ask grandparents "how did you do it?"  They've seen the most and know their own regrets.  

But what it always comes down to, when I'm grading myself it is Erik Erikson's stages of development.  It's a simple and easy checklist.  If we get this part right, he will be okay.  The stage Soren is in (2-4) is 'Autonomy vs. Shame and doubt.'

How do you navigate this stage?  Well the child wants to know "is it okay to be me?" and they need an environment that leads them to YES!

When I visited Soren's new school the director was showing us around the playroom and when she got to the dress up clothes, (noting how my sister and I had four boys) she told us how the prior year one boy ran to claim a pink dress everyday and it was the cutest thing.  It made everyones day to see him playing dress up in his favorite pink dress.  "Is it okay to be me?" was clearly a priority at this school and why I was in tears.  

Two days before school started we had a mini school day where we stayed with the boys and got to see what their daily routine would be.  Each child gets a job to do for the day and they rotate, Soren was snack helper and was so proud to hand out the napkins to all of his friends.  They had a blast and couldn't wait to go back.  

But still, I was a nervous wreck dropping him off for his first day at school by himself, the first time I've ever left him anywhere.  I expected lots of tears and screaming.  He hugged me and said, I'm scared and I'll miss you and I said it is scary and I'll miss you too, but then he ran in to class with his friends.  After school he said he cried and cried for me but he had a lot of fun at school and can't wait to go back!   (But he's just a baby!  I am really having a hard time letting him go.)

Cleary is in the 'Initiative vs. Guilt' stage according to Erikson

To me that means he needs to learn that he can lead successfully and accomplish tasks, okay....  I admit.  I've always been a little fuzzy on this stage and more nervous about growing as a parent myself than Cleary's own actual development.  (I mean, as soon as I figure out how to parent a 4 year old they are turning 5!  I don't think I actually figured out 4.)   Cleary seems to think growing up is so easy and doesn't worry about Eriksons stages.  His existential concerns are much more logical, are the Ninja Turtles actually Ninjas?  Can I be a gold Ninja or can only Power Rangers be gold?  Are Power Rangers Ninjas?  And then he meditates.  

Cleary wanted to homeschool this year, he wants to have school in the woods everyday as long as we can have our snack with friends.  Sounds like a dream to me!  We walked through the woods and while I was trying to decide how to make a walk in the woods 'school' Cleary started picking up things and sounding out the letters they started with.  We talked about tree bark and moss and he drew pictures in his journal of everything we found.  He picked a spot in the woods and took out a workbook he had chosen for the day and started on the pages.  

I'm a little nervous about 'being a teacher' and I hope he will lead me through this journey as I figure out what this little guy really needs to learn so he will be ready for Kindergarten next year.

That was our week, I hope all of you had a great first week back to school.  Peace- Nikki

Happy Boys, Happy Mom

I take pride in my job, my number one job of mother.  How do I know i'm doing a good job?  My boys are happy.

They wake up happy, they smile at me all day long and surprise me with "Mommy, I love you!"  throughout the day.  I need that, it's my paycheck bonus.  It's my 'good job' pat on the back from my boss.  Not to mention the reassurance I get from my husband, who knows when I need to hear 'you are a good mom, we are so lucky to have you.'  I know I am blessed with this beautiful family, I know how lucky I am.

But motherhood is hard, it's strenuous, its full time plus double overtime and then some.  There are days that these smiling faces are piles of blubbering disaster and they have no explanation for why and I take on the blame, I get the screaming and crying and more recently feet stomping or pouting... all of it wrapped up with a bow and a big gift tag that says 'surprise, just for you!'

Just like in the real world when your boss screams at you without cause, or because your boss got kicked by their boss, your job as a mother is to take it, accept it, smile and say I'm sorry, let's make it better.  But I don't want to smile, I want to lay on the floor and cry, or scream, or cry and scream... or get a new job.  That isn't really an option, so I take the screaming and say tomorrow will be better.  I tell my little bosses, tomorrow will be sunshiny and remember that just 5 minutes ago they loved me to the sun and back.

Yes, parenting has it's challenges, nothing will change that.  But your choices as a parent will determine how easy your job is.  My mother recently told me about troubles at her work, and while we laugh at how stupid her boss is and talk about how she should find a new job, she also admits that she doesn't handle the altercations well.  I am proud that my mom will stand up for herself, but she knows if she just smiles and says "sorry, I'll do it your way" when her boss is throwing his temper tantrum her life would be much easier.

So where is the balance?  How do you make your job easier without pissing off your boss?  That's a tough question at work or in parenting.  But I think the answer, while hard to implement is always be kind.  Don't tell your boss or child that they are wrong, don't yell NO, NO, NO at them.  They may be wrong, but what they are feeling should be validated first, they ARE having these feelings whether you think they should be or not,  and then they need to find a way to cope or an answer to their 'I don't know why i'm crying but I can't help myself'  problem.

I was recently given a parenting article that says in order to have your children gain independence you must say no to them all the time, refuse to do things for them, make them do it for themselves.  This article called the type of parenting where you help your children 'gateway parenting' and compared this type of parenting to drug use.  Well, the article was awful in my opinion.  We ALL want our kids to be independent and we fear that our children could end up drug addicts if we fail them as parents.  Coupling these two themes made the article resonate and I was almost sucked in to the advice.

I am proud to say that my children are incredibly independent for their age, they are two and four and love to do things for themselves.  When they struggle to do something and ask for help I will advise them on how to do it for themselves, I would never say NO I will not do it for you.  The difference in these two types of parenting is that my guidance gives them trust in me and trust in themselves.  If you tell them No you won't help them, they will internalize this negativity and believe "I can't do it and my mom won't help me."

My two year old was close to tears when he couldn't get his shoes on the other day, he has gotten use to putting on boots and couldn't understand the difference.  He doesn't often ask for help because he likes to do everything for himself, so he was mounting tears of frustration.  Instead of offering to do it for him   I took off my shoe and showed him how you have to put your fingers in the back to slide it on.  He then put his shoe on happily by himself.

It might be small things all day long, the boys love to do the buckles in the car seat.  They also like to pour their own milk, and spill the milk... sigh.  Sure, it would be easier to do everything for them, but whether you stand in the cold patiently while they fumble with the carseat buckle or tell them you need to do it quickly; let them spill the milk all over the table or pour it for them won't make a difference in the long run.  If you love your children and they know they are loved you are doing a good job.  Good job Mom!

We all want our kids to be happy, Attachment Parenting and Positive Parenting philosophies have offered me lots of tricks to make my job easier, and guides on fostering the independence of my children.  My wise friend Liza has suggested that as your children face the big rocks, the medium stones, and little pebbles in their path, walk beside them as a guide, that is our job.  They will find pride at the top of the biggest rock and kisses of comfort from the inevitable scraped knee and independence right at the fork.